Comments on: Being nice to rude people http://generally.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/being-nice-to-rude-people/ Let's talk about coding and lots more... Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:30:48 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: jj http://generally.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/being-nice-to-rude-people/#comment-1478 jj Fri, 17 Jul 2009 08:03:34 +0000 http://generally.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/being-nice-to-rude-people/#comment-1478 What if the person abuses you daily and makes your life miserable no matter what.(a nosy neighbour and her wild friends)? What if the person abuses you daily and makes your life miserable no matter what.(a nosy neighbour and her wild friends)?

]]> By: Kaushik http://generally.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/being-nice-to-rude-people/#comment-1450 Kaushik Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:13:38 +0000 http://generally.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/being-nice-to-rude-people/#comment-1450 Not quite the same, but similar - http://cowmaaa.blogspot.com/2008/10/points-to-ponder-jai-singh-rathore.html For me, I find it more difficult to be nice to wrong people than rude people. Of course, strangers who are rude used to (and still do, occasionally) piss me off, but having seen 24 years of life, I know better about how a person's day might have been. Still, I am not able to be nice to wrong people. :( Wrong as in...not from my opinion alone, but like "obvious" and "blatant" wrong. Makes me wonder sometimes how much more I need to grow. Makes me also wonder if I am better off being honest now and stop growing to be a quasi-hypocrite. :) Not quite the same, but similar – http://cowmaaa.blogspot.com/2008/10/points-to-ponder-jai-singh-rathore.html
For me, I find it more difficult to be nice to wrong people than rude people. Of course, strangers who are rude used to (and still do, occasionally) piss me off, but having seen 24 years of life, I know better about how a person’s day might have been. Still, I am not able to be nice to wrong people. :( Wrong as in…not from my opinion alone, but like “obvious” and “blatant” wrong. Makes me wonder sometimes how much more I need to grow. Makes me also wonder if I am better off being honest now and stop growing to be a quasi-hypocrite. :)

]]> By: How to be Nice to people you Hate « Happy Lists http://generally.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/being-nice-to-rude-people/#comment-1348 How to be Nice to people you Hate « Happy Lists Mon, 14 Apr 2008 05:41:38 +0000 http://generally.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/being-nice-to-rude-people/#comment-1348 [...] Being nice to rude people [...] [...] Being nice to rude people [...]

]]> By: Anaamica http://generally.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/being-nice-to-rude-people/#comment-1323 Anaamica Mon, 25 Feb 2008 06:36:07 +0000 http://generally.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/being-nice-to-rude-people/#comment-1323 I understand what you are saying maelyn. Atleast your mother-in-law expresses her feelings in front of you. Imagine how you would feel if she acted all nice in front of you and your husband but went on complaining about you to every other person? Won't you feel deceived? Deception is worse than meanness, isn't it? :) As you said, ignoring her is the best bet. If you can do that and not let her affect your life, nothing like it. Sadly, that is easier said than done. Sometimes people cross lines and you can no longer control yourself and you end up feeling bad. There is another way, which I sometimes try. Be extremely nice to her. Treat her like you would treat your own mom or any other woman who is good to you. One day, she will realize you are a good human being and she will treat you well. It will take time, but eventually good will win over evil. I understand what you are saying maelyn. Atleast your mother-in-law expresses her feelings in front of you. Imagine how you would feel if she acted all nice in front of you and your husband but went on complaining about you to every other person? Won’t you feel deceived? Deception is worse than meanness, isn’t it? :)

As you said, ignoring her is the best bet. If you can do that and not let her affect your life, nothing like it. Sadly, that is easier said than done. Sometimes people cross lines and you can no longer control yourself and you end up feeling bad.

There is another way, which I sometimes try. Be extremely nice to her. Treat her like you would treat your own mom or any other woman who is good to you. One day, she will realize you are a good human being and she will treat you well. It will take time, but eventually good will win over evil.

]]> By: maelyn http://generally.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/being-nice-to-rude-people/#comment-1322 maelyn Mon, 25 Feb 2008 06:13:15 +0000 http://generally.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/being-nice-to-rude-people/#comment-1322 The person with whom I've have the most experience as far as responding to rude behavior is my mother-in-law. Usually I just ignore her so that I can avoid any further conversation. In the past, I unfortunately let her walk all over me - she's good at intimidation and she knows it - but I'm getting a bit better at sticking up for myself. She likes to give rude comments whenever possible - usually they're just mean and not worth answering (i.e. "Oh, you cut your hair. Now it doesn't just hang.") She actually scolded her son when we informed her that we were having our third child. Our kids are evenly spaced by 18 mo., and I guess she thought that we were being too busy...regardless of the fact that she had three kids and they are evenly spaced by 2 years. Anyway, she's not a kind person and ignoring her seems to work best. It's my best attempt to as John says, not be affected by her behavior. As far as dealing with strangers, I try to allow for the possibility that they are simply having a really bad day. Everyone fails at least once in the area of etiquette, right? :) The person with whom I’ve have the most experience as far as responding to rude behavior is my mother-in-law. Usually I just ignore her so that I can avoid any further conversation. In the past, I unfortunately let her walk all over me – she’s good at intimidation and she knows it – but I’m getting a bit better at sticking up for myself. She likes to give rude comments whenever possible – usually they’re just mean and not worth answering (i.e. “Oh, you cut your hair. Now it doesn’t just hang.”) She actually scolded her son when we informed her that we were having our third child. Our kids are evenly spaced by 18 mo., and I guess she thought that we were being too busy…regardless of the fact that she had three kids and they are evenly spaced by 2 years.
Anyway, she’s not a kind person and ignoring her seems to work best. It’s my best attempt to as John says, not be affected by her behavior.
As far as dealing with strangers, I try to allow for the possibility that they are simply having a really bad day. Everyone fails at least once in the area of etiquette, right? :)

]]> By: Anoop John http://generally.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/being-nice-to-rude-people/#comment-1303 Anoop John Wed, 13 Feb 2008 15:52:30 +0000 http://generally.wordpress.com/2008/01/09/being-nice-to-rude-people/#comment-1303 I think the technically correct way to do that would be to totally not get affected by the behavior of the other person. If you can achieve that state, the way you behave would be totally dependent on your normal behavior - no acting and no complexes. I know it is very easy to preach and very tough to do this. I think the technically correct way to do that would be to totally not get affected by the behavior of the other person. If you can achieve that state, the way you behave would be totally dependent on your normal behavior – no acting and no complexes. I know it is very easy to preach and very tough to do this.

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